Perhaps you'd been interested in something no homeowner could be without? Volcano Insurance.
According to my Uncle, who's a real whizz with volcanoes, a volcano is coming this way! Volcano insurance costs around, let's say, $200. (Slightly more than you would spend on all that handsome cream.) Although there has never been a volcano here, don't you think we're overdue for one? Don't worry, this is no scam, unlike cloud insurance.
If you are interested, just join and $200 will be taken from your bank (extra charges may apply for no reason).
P.S we've run out of handsome cream. Peter Griffin took it all.